There are beings so terrifying that they should only be referred to a “Those We Do Not Speak Of”. Creatures that fall into this category- and I mention them by name here only out of necessity- include telemarketers, tax agents, and parking enforcers.
Don’t get me wrong, these may be perfectly decent human beings, but put them into their work clothes and they emit a repellant so strong that just the mention of their occupations elicits spiked blood pressure, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and sudden onset Terrets.
Therefore, in the interests of public health, the term ‘Those We Do Not Speak Of’ is highly recommended.
In fact, why not take it a step further and replace the name of anything that displeases you with a neutral, or even pleasant term. ‘Monday morning’ could become ‘At least I’m not going to the dentist day’ (unless you are, in which case ‘Monday morning’ suits perfectly), ‘Housework’ could be renamed ‘That which someone else should be doing’, and ‘Fighting traffic’ could be referred to as ‘Playing bumper cars in my head’.
The power of positive thinking used again to make this a better world for all.
It’s a legislated requirement for buildings to have well-marked signs reading ‘Exit’ denoting ways to leave the building in case of emergency.
She pauses for a moment as she considers this, and then inspiration lands. She grabs some bristol board, a thick red marker, scissors, aluminum edging, screws, small chains. She hangs signs randomly around her apartment against walls, on cupboards, behind open bookshelves. The signs all read ‘No Exit’. Why just mark what is and not also what is not?
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