I am starting to realize that I am just plain average. That feeling of being special, of being able to change the world is giving way to a clear-eyed view of my limitations and lack of power in the universe. I think it’s called growing up- a transformation which is occurring later and later in life these days.
Reaching for the stars and planning for all the important things I will accomplish have taken a back seat to wrestling with how to survive the mundane.
Though this is definitely disappointing, in another way it’s quite liberating. I no longer have to be the one to save the world. The pressure is off. And if I don’t ever really accomplish anything, well, what could I have expected of myself- I was only ever average.
In the midst of this epiphany, I am drawn to creative work- to write, build, experiment with colour and concept, find new outlets. I have average talent in all of these, yet I pursue them still, realizing that my motive for creating is no longer to express my uniqueness, it is simply to experience joy.
Things that Didn’t Happen
We are often encouraged to count our blessings, to give thanks for all we have. Yet, how often are we thankful for what we don’t have or for what does not befall us?
Here I go giving it a try.
I am thankful that today:
1. The car speeding through the yellow traffic light didn’t run me over.
2. I didn’t go hungry or thirsty.
3. I wasn’t attacked by zombies. That would suck. A lot.
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